Oh boundaries. I know I’ve been singing the praises for boundaries the last few weeks, and today will be no different. I truly do believe that having healthy boundaries is the foundation for healthy relationships, and that’s why I talk about it so often. Here are my other posts on boundaries: Introduction to Boundaries, Influence vs. Ownership, and Respecting the No!
As we begin to implement boundaries into our life, when we stop taking responsibility for others’ property (their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors), and we stand up and take responsibility for our own property, we begin to get more and more healthy (yay!!). As we get healthier, we tend to notice the lack of health (the poor boundaries, the lack of respect for our no, etc..) in some people in our lives. This becomes frustrating.
As we get healthier, we tend to be turned off by the lack of health in others and more attracted to the health in people. Time and time again a client comes in and states that she doesn’t really want to be close friends with someone anymore because they just aren’t safe or healthy for her. This is important, because the people we choose to surround ourselves with truly does impact our life. If we surround ourselves with health, we are more likely to be healthy ourselves.
Who we surround ourselves with will impact our health. Health leads to health. As you become healthier, your “tastes in people” will likely also change, and this is a good thing. We, in a sense, train ourselves to be attracted to health because, as we become healthy, we want people in our lives with similar ideals, respect, and safeness.
Here’s my challenge to you this week: Evaluate the people in your life. Are they healthy people who will encourage the health within you, or are they unhealthy people who detract from your health? Maybe there needs to be a shift in friendships. I also challenge you to look at the health within yourself. What things within you encourage the health of the people in your life? What things take away from the health of others. Be honest with yourself, because that’s how we grow and change.
Now it’s your turn to share! What is attractive about the health of others? How can having unhealthy people too close to us be harmful?
Journey to Wellness 
I totally agree with you on this, Caroline. It’s really hard as we grow to leave behind people who take away from our growth or happiness. But I also think it’s really important to realize that we each have to follow our own path. Just because I’ve grown into a healthier person doesn’t mean the people in my life are in the same place, and that’s tough to swallow. I want to be supportive of them, but I also have to protect my own health and happiness. In turn, I definitely find myself gravitating toward happier, healthier people.
It is tough to swallow! Just because we’ve moved into a different place doesn’t mean they are a bad person either, but it can definitely take us down a road we don’t want to be down if we aren’t careful! Thanks for sharing!