14 in 2014 Challenge Halfway Update

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2014 Challenge, Biking, Exercise, Mental Health, Pilates, Planks, Race, Relationships, Running, Walking

Happy July! Are we seriously half way through the year already? This has been such a strange year of my life, and so different than the last few years, so it’s been hard to judge the passage of time the same way. Since we’re now halfway through the year, I thought I’d do an update on my 14 Challenges in 2014.

I challenge myself to run 200 miles. Running has gone much better this year than last year, and I’m not fully sure why that is, but I’m not complaining. So far I’m at 147 miles for the year.

I challenge myself to walk 275 miles. Last year I had to stop walking quite so much due to my tendinitis and IT band syndrome, but this year has felt ok. I try to hold back on pace and distance just so I don’t put extra strain on everything, since I don’t want to have to stop running. So far I’m at 177 miles.

I challenge myself to bike 900 miles. I’m right at 516 miles for the year. Many of those miles have been done on my bike trainer, and most of the first 3 months of miles for the year were spent studying for my big test I took in mid-March. Since then I’ve had some great outdoor rides too!

I challenge myself to 75 hours of pilates. 75 hours may have been a little too high, and I refuse to push myself to do it just because I “HAVE to”, and then get burnt out on it. Either way I’ll end up pretty close. Right now I’m at 38.25 hours for the year, which definitely has me on track. We’ll see. I’m still really enjoying pilates though, and really appreciate all that it gives to my body.

I challenge myself to 250 minutes of planks. This one has been pretty easy so far, although less so now that it’s warm. In cold weather (October-March) I seem to have no problem doing planks, but the summer months I definitely cut down. No idea why? So far I’ve clocked a total of 152 minutes for the year.

I challenge myself to run 10 races for the year. Like 2013, these races can be in person or virtual, but I’d like at least 5 of them to be in person! So far I’ve done 4 races in person and 5 virtual races, so I’m doing well! I have a few more races set for the rest for the rest of the year too!

I challenge myself to read at least 14 books. This one has been so fun, and now that summer, it’s been REALLY easy. So far I’ve read 13 books this year, and have really gotten into crime books that have me on the edge of my seat (like John Grisham novels!). I’ve also read a few inspiring books like The Hiding Place and Notes From A Blue Bike. 

I challenge myself to go through all the clothes that I own. This one I finished at the end of January when I got rid of 54 or 56 (I forget which) items of clothing. I just did another haul at the beginning of June, getting rid of another 75ish items. I think that just shows how much I’ve really held on to over the years that’s been ridiculous! This podcast (Freedom From Stuff) has been inspiring!

I challenge myself to continue to be present. Am I present every single moment of every day- no, but I don’t think that’s fully possible for most of us! But being present has really changed my life, and I’m continuing to enjoy this challenge!

I challenge myself to continue to hunt for provisions and blessings (continuing to develop gratitude in my life). Yes! I’ve written it down twice a week, and am really enjoying it. I even started a gratitude journal outside of this blog, and it’s great to have a hard copy I can flip through.

I challenge myself to read the entire Bible this year. I found a plan online (it’s this one if you’re interested) and have been following that. I don’t necessarily exactly read what is outlined on the day, as sometimes I get ahead or behind (and then have to catch up). I’m just a few days behind on the reading plan, so I’m close to being on track!

I challenge myself to publish an article this year. I haven’t published it yet but I’ve written it and it’s gone through a few rounds of revisions now! We’re close to submitting it to the review board now!

I challenge myself to put more time and energy into friendships and relationships. YES! This one has been so much fun, and I’m loving the relationships that I’ve either strengthened or built over the last three months. I’ve even made some new blogging friends, like Melissa and Meg.

I challenge myself to be brave. Oh yes! I wish I could write blog posts about this, but at this point I can’t so much. Brave (or courage) is my word for the year, and while this probably deserves an entire post of it’s own, I thought I’d throw it out there anyways. I want to continue to push myself to be brave in any area of my life…

So, overall, I’m pretty much on point with where I “need” to be for the year in each of these goals, although slightly behind with one. It really hasn’t felt like too much effort, but knowing these goals are out there helps keep me motivated. So, we’ll see how this next quarter goes–

Now it’s your turn to share! How are you going on your goals/challenges/resolutions etc… for the year? Is there anything that you hope to accomplish in the next three months?

Looking for more ways to connect?

• Connect on twitter @kalolainastar
• Find me on ‘Bloglovin

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5 Years A Counselor

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Mental Health

5 years ago today I walked into the counseling office for my first session as a counselor. I was so nervous, and I remember my supervisor saying “It’s a success if you get through your first session without throwing up”- not comforting words 🙂 I remember walking into the office, getting my client, and bringing her into the room- and my mind went blank-I forgot my name!! The good thing is that I recovered quickly, and I haven’t forgotten my name since 🙂 Good thing I’ve grown just a bit from that place!

I wanted to be a counselor since I was 8 years old, so walking into that room was a dream come true for me. There have certainly been tough moments along the way (of course always will be too in the counseling profession), but I really love being a counselor. I had written in my journal the morning before my first client the following quote: “There are a lot of good counselors and there are far less great counselors. Today you start to choose; are you going to be good or are you going to be great?” I think about this quote often as I process my time as a counselor.

The fact is that I love being a counselor more and more every year that I’ve spent in the job. One thing I didn’t quite expect before I started counseling is how much I’d learn as a counselor.

I learn so much from my clients- way more than they will ever know, and I’m thankful for those moments. Not only do I learn bits about each of their respective fields and jobs, but I learn more about how life is played out in this world. The cases I see challenge me to continue my education, read more journal articles, and engage in supervision and consultation with my co-workers and peers.

Being a counselor has really changed my life in so many ways, and I’m so thankful for the journey that’s occurred over the last 5 years…

Now it’s your turn to share! What’s one thing you’ve learned at your current job?

Looking for more ways to connect?

• Connect on twitter @kalolainastar
• Find me on ‘Bloglovin

 

Grace and Gratitude

Tags

Barre, Mental Health, Picture, Thankful

I shared this quote at the end of my cool down song yesterday morning during my barre class, and I thought I’d share it here today:

It’s so simple, calming, and healthy. If you sit with your eyes closed and focus on deep breathing, say “inhale grace” as you inhale and “exhale gratitude” as you exhale- try this a few times and see how you feel!

I think infusing our lives with grace and gratitude would lead to much healthier relationships (with ourself and with others) and lead to much more peace for each of us- don’t you agree?

Now it’s your turn to share! What does this quote mean to you, and how can you apply it to your life today?

Looking for more ways to connect?

• Connect on twitter @kalolainastar
• Find me on ‘Bloglovin

 

Setting Yourself Up For Success

Tags

Behavior Change, Health, Mental Health

With behavior change, there are plenty of “action steps” to take before actually changing your behavior. The first step in this process is to track your behavior and get to know it (because you can’t really change what you don’t know!). Once you get to know your behavior better, you know how to better set yourself up for success.

Here’s an example: When I first started working out, I realized that if I sat down on my couch after work, it was all over for me, and I was almost 100% going to not work out. Because I tracked my behavior and realized what was going on as I wasn’t working out, I was able to create effective steps to help set myself up for success. Here are some of the different options I came up with: I would change into my workout clothes before I even left the office (getting into workout clothes is half the battle!), I would bring workout clothes to work and workout either at my work gym or go on a walk or run in the neighborhoods around work, or I would lay out workout clothes on my couch so I’d have to pick them up before sitting on the couch (win- they were already in my hand then!).

How we plan to set ourselves up for success can be hugely important in attaining the goals that we want.

Here’s another example: My dad has said over and over again that he doesn’t register thirst until he’s already pretty dehydrated (like headache-y dehydrated), but he felt stuck because he wouldn’t remember. Well, I’m a fan of not being a victim to the circumstances we find ourselves in, and I like proactive steps. So, I set a reoccurring alarm in his phone for 2 pm every day that told him to go drink water. Every day it went over, and he told me by about a month or two in he started to feel thirsty on his own right around 1 or 1:30 just because his body had been trained to want water at this time. Cool, huh? What an easy way to deal with the issue of not remembering to drink some water!

I set myself up for success by stocking my snack drawer at work with good foods, by trying to be proactive in dealing with injuries, by practicing gratitude, and by changing my language to healthier phrases and words. I do meal prep on sundays so that I have meals ready to go after I work out! Pre-cut veggies are there for easy, go to snacks.

As you work on behavior changes, I challenge you think about what you need to do to set yourself up for the best chances of success! What can you do to try to take away or decrease the excuses or plan ahead in being proactive? What mental health choices do you need to make to help impact you in other areas of health?

Now it’s your turn to share! Do you have any little tools or tricks for setting yourself up for success in terms of health behaviors? What’s a time you’ve been successful at setting yourself up for success in the past? 

What POTS Taught Me About Comparison

Tags

Mental Health, POTS

Ah, the comparison trap. It seems like the need to compare ourselves to others is ingrained in us when we’re young, and it becomes an automatic (and often unhealthy and toxic) part of our thought patterns. I guess it’s part of being human.

I, being human, have often found myself inclined to compare myself to others. It used to be far stronger than it is now, in part due to POTS. With POTS, life can be somewhat unpredictable, and it certainly makes daily living things a bit more difficult. The fatigue, sick feelings, and the body pain that come with POTS can make life really difficult to live at times, and certainly can change daily functioning up quite a bit.

I did an entire post on how POTS changed how I exercised and how I had to start up exercise again, but one thing I didn’t talk about is how that plays into the comparison trap. The thing is, I can compare myself all the time to others around me, but with POTS I play with a different hand of cards (of course we each have things that make life just a little more difficult for us).

This came to a head with running. No matter what I do, I cannot run consistently with miles in the 8 and 9 minute range. It doesn’t matter how much I compare myself to them, beat myself up, or try to train to get to that point, I can’t because it’s not safe due to the beta blocker that I’m on.

I can’t even really compare myself to myself (although I sure do!). Some days the POTS symptoms feel fairly manageable and minimal, and some days they feel out of control. There are some days that keeping an 11:15 pace while running feels just fine, and there are other days that keeping a 12:30 pace feels overwhelmingly difficult.

POTS has taught me that there are things in life that pop up that just make life difficult, and to beat myself up because of those things I cannot control is absolutely ridiculous. Maybe your thing isn’t POTS, but I bet that you’re busy comparing yourself to others or yourself. The thing is- it isn’t fair to do to yourself because we don’t enter in to the same thing with the exact same deck of cards.

POTS has taught me to be gracious to myself and to others in terms of my judgments and comparisons… I guess that’s one of the good things that’s come out of this decade long journey…. The comparison trap is ugly and certainly doesn’t help us out in our own personal growth, and every bit of it that we can let go is going to be beneficial to us. I push myself as I can, but I’ve also learned to treat myself with kindness and grace.

Now it’s your turn to share! Do you struggle with comparing yourself to others? 

Move Nourish Believe- Week 3

Tags

Mental Health, Thankful

This week was the final week of the  the Move Nourish Believe Challenge with Lorna Jane and Sweat Pink (you can read about the move challenge and nourish challenge by clicking on the links). It’s been really fun to have little (but not too time consuming) challenges throughout February! With the nasty weather outside, having a little extra motivation for health is pretty great!

This week had multiple challenges that were perfect for my life. My grandpa died on Monday afternoon, so Monday and Tuesday were particularly good for me.

Monday: SPOIL YOURSELF! I had planned on going to lift, but an ice storm moved in so I decided to head home after work and get in a bike trainer ride. I had just hopped on my bike to rid when my mom called to tell me my grandpa had died. I had an awesome ride fueled solely by emotion, followed by a soak in the bathtub. It was definitely an evening to take care of myself.

Tuesday: 5 mindful minutes. As soon as I woke up I remembered my grandpa (those first precious seconds after you wake up when you’ve lost someone are so nice… when you don’t remember that the loss has happened), and I decided in that moment to get in my 5 mindful minutes then. I sat in bed for 6 minutes with my eyes closed and breathed deeply. It was a really grounding way to start my day.

Wednesday: Be Happy- Show Us Your Happy Place! I have a few happy places, but one of them is Marco Island, Florida. If you click on that link I think you’ll see why 🙂

Thursday: Let us know what you’re thankful for! Done- you can see my “Thankful Thursday” post here.

Friday: Shout Out to your #1 Supporter. Oh my, is this difficult. I think this sort of changes from time to time, and situation to situation. One of the most stable supporters is my oldest younger brother, who is in the Air Force.  He goes on runs with me, makes sure we talk at least once a week, is always on the look out for funny or interesting articles for me, and is so often affirming of me. This week especially with our grandpa dying, he has been an overwhelming support. I was lucky when he was born…

So that’s it for the Move, Nourish, Believe challenge. You can check out more about Lorna Jane here.

Is Happiness Possible In The Winter?

Tags

2014 Challenge, Mental Health, Winter

I’ll be honest- winter is not in any way my favorite season…AT ALL. I remember one point, maybe 4ish years ago, when I realized that I couldn’t even enjoy fall anymore (even though I really love fall), because I was so full of dread for the upcoming winter. YIKES- how sad that I chose to lose out on enjoyment for something that was yet to come. This really was the final straw for me, as I realized that my disdain for winter had really spiraled out of control. This was the start of me trying to work really hard to enjoy the winter…. to choose happiness even when it wasn’t natural in the moment for me.

One of the things that’s made a big difference for me is to head outside and actually ENJOY the snow. There is so much beauty that the winter holds, and when I was grumbling and hating on winter, I missed out on most of it- how sad! This is part of one of my 14 challenges in 2014– to be present. I try to go on a few walks a week, and really take the time to pause and enjoy nature around me. Winter gives some awesome views.

Another thing I’ve really appreciated about winter lately is that it provides the perfect environment to drink all sorts of delicious warm drinks! I love tea, coffee, and hot chocolate, and sometimes in the summer it’s the last thing that I want. I’m thankful that winter provides an environment where these drinks are perfect! I even got a milk frother for Christmas this year just to take that enjoyment level up just a little bit more!

Winter allows us to have all things cozy- warm baths, space heaters, heated blankets, regular blankets, fires, shirts with thumb holes, and fluffy sweaters. These are all things that I do miss in the summer (even though I REALLY love the heat of summer!). These are things that become instantly calming to most people, and I’m glad that winters provide time for these things.

When I really stop to think about it, there are many things that I do like in the winter. So, when I find myself grumbling about something (like the 15 minutes it might take to scrape all the ice off my car after a storm), I try to not only acknowledge whatever that negative is, but I try to insert a few positives as well. “I’m so thankful for the cold in the winter because it allows me to curl up under a blanket and enjoy a nice, hot drink”.

I try to give myself a balanced view of the situation, and as I’ve done this, I’ve noticed my disdain towards winter shrinking a bit. I doubt it’ll ever be a top season of mine, but at least I no longer dread it. Yet another example of us  owning our reactions and choosing to be active in our health.

Now it’s your turn to share! What’s one thing in life that you could work on balancing out your view of (like the cold in the winter!)? What do you enjoy about the winter?

For other tips on thriving in the winter, check out my post HERE.

I Am Only One, BUT I Am One

Tags

Mental Health, Quotes

Today I wanted to share one of the quotes that I think about often as a counselor:

The thing with my job (and so very many jobs out there) is that, if I really stop to think about, it’s overwhelming. I could work every hour of every day and there would still be an unbelievably high number of people wanting or needing help or a place to process a situation in their life. It doesn’t matter what I do- the need is so great. All that I do can seem like a tiny drop in a huge ocean. If I stop to think about that too long, I can get down- and who has time for that?!

Then I stop to actually look at the reality. Every week I have the chance to impact anywhere from 28-35 people in my office- more if I’m leading groups too. Those individual lives who are changed because of sitting in my office, even if it’s small the big picture, is still meaningful. I also keep in mind that there’s a ripple effect: their changes influence other people, and so on and so forth. There’s also a generational effect. A change in a 20 year old today means a change in her marriage, how she raises her children, and impacts her grandchildren.

So this is the perspective that I personally keep in mind, and it’s my example of not letting what I cannot do (helping all those in need, or even being able to help someone sitting on my couch) interfere with what I can do.

I’ve talked a lot in the past about owning our reactions to things, and this is another example of that. We we cannot do is beyond our control (and within the control of someone else). What I can do is within in my area of control, so I have to ask myself “will i be responsible for what I can do?”.

Instead of wasting time, energy, and emotion being upset about what we cannot do, what would happen if we focused everything on that which we can do?

Now it’s your turn to share! Do you ever get down about all the things you cannot do? What are some things that you can do?

Thriving In The Winter {and steps to stay healthy}

Tags

Health, Mental Health, Winter

Whew- this weather is pretty nasty right now. I’m about two cold days away from looking for flights to the closest warm place I can find 🙂 Seriously though, winter presents its own set of safety hazards, physically and emotionally. Here are some of my tips for staying healthy and safe with the potential situations that may arise with the crazy winter weather and storms we’re having:

1. Keep stocked up on foods that are edible if the power goes out for a few days. At least some foods could be stored outside in the power to the refrigerator or freezer went out, but that doesn’t help with cooking. Fruits, protein bars, cans of food, bread, peanut butter, etc.. are great for a few days if needed.
2. Keep stocked up on batteries and candles in case you’re left powerless for a day or two! Anytime my lights start flickering a bit due to wind or a storm I light a candle so I could see other things if needed.
3. DO NOT leave the house without enough clothing where you would be safe and comfortable if you had to sit on the side of the road for a few hours. When I go to work, I wear wool socks, boots, and sweatpants, and bring my nice shoes and dress pants or skirt into my office to change. Being outside without a hat might lead to incredibly bad frostbite that you’ll have to deal with for life. Be smart, and bring appropriate items with you. *****Another piece of important information: If you live far enough away from work that the snow could potentially keep you from getting home, make sure to keep 1-2 days worth of your medication in your purse or work bag. That way, if you are stranded somewhere, you won’t be in a potentially dangerous or uncomfortable situation.
4. To go along with the third point: make up a car kit. This would include things like those hand warmers you can buy and use in a pinch, hat, gloves, scarf, flashlight, blanket, some snack foods, and a shovel. This way you’re set incase you breakdown on the side of the road.
5. If you’re using a space heater, make sure and double check that it’s off before going to bed or leaving your place. It’s easy to forget about, and could start your place on fire if you leave it going.
6. Seasonal Affective Disorder is a real thing, and I expect to see an increase of it in my office over the next month. Check out my tips for dealing with seasonal affective disorder.
7. Be smart about working out. Moving is good, but not when it puts you in an unsafe situation. There’s no need to HAVE to get a workout in, leading you to falling and breaking something on the ice. Find some at home workouts to do if you really need to move.
8. If the power goes out or it’s especially cold out, make sure to open up the cupboards in the kitchen and bathrooms to ensure that your pipes don’t freeze. The last thing you want to be dealing with on top of nasty weather is having burst pipes. Yikes.
9. Stay hydrated! In the winter it’s easy to forget to drink (unlike the summer when we’re desperate for something to cool off with!). If you need to, set an alarm on your phone every few hours to remind yourselves to drink. Again, you don’t want to be dehydrated if you get stuck out for longer than you were planning to.
10. Try to stay mentally on top of your thoughts and thought patterns.  Sometimes it’s easy to get stuck in patterns of black and white thinking or catastrophizing because we are so unhappy by the weather around us (or feeling like we can’t do what we want because we’re stuck at home). Try to work on healthy thought patterns using the thought record or the REBT self help form.

Those are a few of the tips that I have for staying safe and healthy throughout the winter. Obviously these aren’t the only things I do to stay healthy, but are things I think are important.

Now it’s your turn to share! What are your best winter survival tips? 

Love and Freedom

Tags

Mental Health, Relationships

“It is easy to say we love others, but difficult to allow them the freedom inherent in love. When they do not want to do what we want them to, then we ‘hunt them down and kill them’ in various ways. We pout, cry out angrily, send guilt messages, and attempt to control them. These actions kill freedom and will, and eventually, they will kill love. Love cannot exist without freedom, and freedom cannot exist without responsibility. We must own and take responsibility for what is ours, and that includes our disappointment in not getting everything we want form another person. The disappointment that comes from our loved ones exercising their freedom is our responsibility. We must deal with it. This is the only way to keep love alive” (from the book Changes that Heal by Henry Cloud. p 117-118).

Boy does this quote hit home in my life right now! If you’ve been reading for very long, you know that I love to talk about boundaries. I believe that we have to respect the no of other people, and I believe that we 100% have to own our own reactions if we want to be healthy people in healthy relationships. Easy to type, but way more difficult to put into practice.

This becomes especially hard when someone we love is doing something that we don’t like or appreciate. Sometimes we want to try to control this person as a means of “making it all better”. The problem is that control isn’t love, and it’s toxic to a relationship. Love can’t exist without freedom, but this can be a terrifying prospect.

I’m currently watching a relationship grow more and more toxic by the week because these individuals are doing the absolute opposite of what is outlined in the above quote. I’ve tried to explain to them why what they are doing is toxic, but they have chosen not to listen (which is within their rights!). So now it’s on me to own my reaction to it, understand that I don’t own their reactions, and allow for them the freedom to do as they please. It’s not easy- relationships aren’t.

So again I’m issuing a challenge to each of you, my readers (and a reminder to myself as well!): love doesn’t exist without freedom. Check your responses to determine if you give the person you are in relationship with the right to say “no” without punishment. When people make those hurtful choices in our life, do we choose to lash out, or do we make a responsible decision on how to react? Watch yourself this week as you move forward in relationship with those around you. It’s tough stuff, and I think it’s stuff that we’ll each end up working on throughout our lives. It’s part of our humanness.